Excuse 1
In a comment on her post Under the Parental Influence Seashells said
using it as a defence is a bit like “the dog ate my homework”.
You know, that excuse is sadly maligned – it actually happens. It happened to D3. Well, the dog didn’t actually <i>eat</i> it – he urinated on it, but he did destroy the homework.
When D3 came home from school she wanted to know what I wrote in the note asking the teacher to give her an extension on her homework. I said I had simply given the truth, that the dog urinated on the homework.
“And that’s it?” she asked with a baleful glare.
“Why?” I enquired.
“Well, Dad, she gave me the filthiest of looks and hasn’t talked to me all day!”
“I did add a PS,” I admitted “I thought it only fair to tell her that the dog’s opinion of her subject wasn’t necessarily that of the family.”
Twenty five years later, D3 can laugh about it.
Excuse 2
In Fabulous on Friday, Aussie Locust mentioned a mishap while catching the train and summarised as follows:
Summary version: bleeding from both hands, and left knee ( courtesy of the now-ripped jeans), plus headache from when I whacked my skull on the handrail as I pulled myself up. Plus I still missed the train and don’t have time to go home to change.
Not long after starting work I was moved to a new section (cadets got moved around for experience) with a very early starting time. After a week the boss told me he was keeping a book on how often I was late as I had yet to be on time.
So, the next morning I made a special effort to get the last train that would get me there on time. As I was coming down the stairs it started pulling out so I made a superhuman effort to make one of the open doors (they weren’t automatic in those days as the oldies amongst us will remember) and launched through it at full speed. I had just enough time to realise the opposite door was also open and grab the vertical handrail. My speed spun me right around it and then broke my grip so that I exited the train, through the door I had entered, with my own lateral speed plus the train’s forward speed.
It could have been fatal as there was a train coming the other way on the opposite side of the platform. However, I was saved by the fact that I slid/cannoned/cart-wheeled into the station building with results similar to but worse than AL’s. I got to the other end and as it was pay day had no money for the bus so had to limp very slowly to work.
I walked in fifty minutes late with torn and bloodied clothing, scratches and bruises all over and a very sorry demeanour. The boss (I hadn’t known him long enough to realise he had a sense of humour as warped as mine) took one look at me and said “H, I don’t want to hear another one of your piss-weak excuses for being late”.
It was one of the few times in my life I was rendered speechless.
I can laugh about it now.
PS About six weeks later the boss came up to me and said “H, if I had started a book on how often you were on time, I’d still have a new book.”
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What is the best genuine excuse you have ever had for missing homework?
How was it received?
What was the best excuse you ever had that you didn’t get to use?
Any good excuses for various occasions?
What is the best genuine excuse you have ever had for missing homework?
The cat tore it up! – Much worse obviously, but our dear Tessa loved ripping up any paper on the floor.
I never had to give an excuse for missing homework as I never missed homework. Not even during uni. I was a bit of a teachers’ pet.
Best excuse for being late to work was being hit in the head by a flying tree branch in the park. I was walking to work on a very windy morning, through the park as usual, when I heard an almighty crack. I turned around just in time for a large tree branch, travelling parallel to the ground, to whack me squarely in the forehead and knock me off my feet. I sat on the ground for about fifteen minutes (there was no-one else around to come to my aid) and then walked the rest of the way to work. My boss took one look at me and asked if I’d taken any drugs the previous night as my pupils were the size of dinner plates. He took me straight to the emergency room where they determined I had quite a severe concussion and, after keeping me for observation for several hours, sent me home. I had fun filling out the workers’ compensation form for that one.
Oh…. gotta think of an excuse I’ve given for homework. I can’t think of any at the moment.
Best excuse for being late to work: I walked out the door and got soaked by cars driving past and it was quicker for me to stop and get new clothes and change at work than it was to go back inside and get dry ones.
My sister once didn’t do/finish her homework for her Religion class because she had been doing maths homework. The teacher asked “Don’t you think religion is as important as maths?” My sister responded with a no. The teacher then called my parents who were both home at the time. Dad’s response: “Don’t talk to me I’m not catholic.” He then handed the phone to mum who just asked the teacher if she would rather my sister lied to her.
Perfect!
I’ve been in pretty similar situations. XD Glad your parents supported your sister on that one!
I was writing a final draft of some paper or other on my housemate’s computer because she had one of those fancy 486s and my 10 year old 8086 had limited word processing capabilities. About 90% through, the smoke retention unit in her monitor signaled that it was full and started releasing smoke overflow.
I immediately did a save, hoped it had actually saved, and then tried save-as to get it to the floppy drive, but something wasn’t behaving and the drive remained silent.
The paper was due the next day so I put no fewer than 5 post-it notes on the keyboard and dead screen saying “do not touch” “screen dead, out getting new one” etc.
No shops were open, and it had started to snow so I headed home to find that a housemate ignored the notes (wacky weed makes you stupid), and had cycled power several times trying to turn it on and play a game. Oh well, no further attempts at saving to a floppy.
The next morning I woke to a blizzard. Twenty miles to the North though, skies remained clear and classes had not been cancelled.
I made it to school. I was one of three to go in that morning.
I provided the tale of the dead screen to the professor and was promptly given a big fat ZERO for the assignment. All the students who stayed at home were given an extension, but I was given a zero. Needless to say, the professor and I had words.
Oh, an hour later they cancelled classes as the storm drifted North.
RE: driving to class. Are you secretly Jason Bourne??? (If so, will you cut my hair for me?)
I am Jason Bourne, but unless you want a buzz-cut, stick to a professional.
Synchronised Snow Driving – for Better Olympics?
I wasn’t really an excuse giver, I was more of the “scribble some crap on the bus to school” school of thought.
I have very limited memories of homework at primary school. I think the state primary school system in the 90s in Qld didn’t have a big emphasis on it, or learning. I do remember lots of ball games though. So many ball games…tunnel ball, over-unders, the one where you stand in horizontal line and netball ball pass it, the same one but 90degrees rotated.
Can anyone confirm that a sport called “Vigaro” existed?
Oh I remember Vigaro. When I was at home cleaning the shed after mum died last year, I found my old Vigaro bat and gave it to the kid next door.
Yes, I know Mrs H played Vigaro.
I can! Vigaro existed!
Awesome. I googled it and seems like some kind of bastard offspring of cricket and baseball for the ladies. My primary school had a vigaro oval and a bunch of the equipment and the town had a local team.
Seems like a sport from country areas.
I can just see the members of Queen in the bleachers #Vigaro-o-o-o-o – He’s just a ball boy from a ball family…#
Don’t remember needing excuses for not having done homework, although there may have been a couple of occasions when I was sick or had other stuff going on, and would have had a note from Mum for those. Otherwise I was a bit of a goody-two-shoes.
The classic excuse for speeding is rushing someone to hospital. On a road trip through Queensland, Dad got done for speeding. It was a bit unfair as it was down a hill, and other cars doing the same speed didn’t get pulled over, but they picked out Dad, probably because of the interstate plates. Anyway, only a very short time later Mum started experiencing severe pain, we stopped and she was literally rolling on the ground in pain. Dad tried to help her, and I ran across to an ambulance that had pulled in at the nearby pub. The ambo said “you can get there quicker than I can, just bundle her in & go to hospital”, which was about 1/2 hour away. So less than half an hour after being pulled over for speeding, Dad was literally speeding to rush Mum to hospital!
Classic excuse but he didn’t have it when he needed it, and didn’t need it when the excuse was real!
Last year Mr Coaster’s dad made the trip from Stanthorpe to Warwick in about 15 minutes as he rushed Mr Coaster’s mum to hospital. He passed a cop car at roadworks and knew there was no way he was getting away with that. On the way back hours later, same cop in the same spot, so he pulled over to explain. The cop agreed to reduce the recorded speed in his report, only if Mr Coaster’s dad would pray with him. They knelt at the back of the cop car in the dark and prayed for Mr Coaster’s mum to get better.
My excuses for late homework were lame -
Me: I left it at home.
Teach: Well miss Dunks, you live across the road – go and get it.
Me: *dammit*
The best real excuse I had for being late to school was when my brother launched himself off his bed and into a tallboy splitting his head open. We had to take him to hospital – mum driving and me holding the wound shut. He was all stitched up and fine by 10am and I dawdled into my math class with a flippant sorry I am late. My teacher looked at me, slightly aghast and asked me to come to the front of the room. I did. He then asked me why I was covered in what appeared to be blood. I looked down to discover that I looked like some sort of mass murderer.
Lame indeed. Thanks for the laugh.
‘Sorry I’m late, had to bury the body.’
of my last maths teacher…
One that springs to mind for me was back at school. Being the school it was there were all sorts of things happening outside hours or on weekends. There was one particular all-school thing on a Saturday which I clean forgot about (and the guy I car pooled with completely failed to mention to me, bless his cotton socks), so at house assembly the next morning the weekend absentees had to line up and give their excuses why they missed it.
I watched as the queue in front of me peddled out all the usual excuses and were subsequently given detention, so I thought I’d go with something absolutely outrageous: the truth.
Housemaster: “So why weren’t you there on the weekend?”
Me: “Oh I clean forgot it was on.”
Housemaster: “That’s your excuse?”
Me: “Yup, I had a lovely sleep in.”
I was the only person who didn’t get a detention. It occurred to me after that that the truth was novel enough to get you out of a bunch of stuff.
I tried that – it didn’t work:
Equivalent to year 11 in those days -
Real Arsehole of an English Teacher: ‘H, you haven’t handed any homework in for two weeks. Why?’
Me: ‘Haven’t done it Sir.’
RAET: ‘Down to the Principal H’
Principal: ‘What are you here for this time H?’
Me: ‘Telling the truth Sir!’
It was all downhill from there.
I never had good excuses for homework, but I did have my workmates laughing at me one morning. Just as I was getting ready to run out the door, there was a power blackout. Not normally something to worry about, but it was in a rental house that I had only recently moved into, the car was in the garage and the garage had an electric door. Now, I was fully aware that there is an over ride lever to open in manually – somewhere. However, with no power, meant very little light in the garage, and the car parked at an awkward angle for getting a ladder out. And the previous tenants had kindly tucked it up out of sight, so I had to find it by feel. Not easy when you’re my height either.
Anyway, I eventually found it, but by then, I was well late for work, and had gotten covered in dust and cobwebs, so had to wash up and change before I could take off. As I am generally obsessive about being on time/early, there was no question that it was the truth.
Sorry I’m late, got in a bit of a tangle
Never had a homework excuse. But I did have an out of uniform excuse.
- Why are you wearing runners?
- My mum left my school shoes sitting on the heater to dry them out and they melted.
The grandsons have had truthful excuses like that on a few occasions.
I ferried between Mum’s and Dad’s twice a week, so I had a few instances of that, too… “Why are you in your sports uniform?”
“Because Dad’s washing machine was broken.
Bite me.“I don’t think I ever had an excuse for not doing homework. I was a goody-two shoes back in school. Although I did go through a stage in Year 9 where I didn’t do my English homework (procrastination perhaps? I dunno. I reckon that teacher never liked me.) & unfortunately my teacher told my Mum about it at parent-teacher interviews…boo….
I don’t think I’ve had good excuses for not doing other things/being late etc either.
Way back when Mr FB was in management, one of his staff rang in sick, saying they had a problem with their eyes.
Mr FB said “What’s wrong with your eyes?”
Staff: “I can’t see”
Mr FB: “You can’t see?”
Staff: “Nope. I can’t see myself coming in to work today”
Best excuse I’ve ever heard wasn’t mine but it was sure memorable.
At my school there were many international students in our final year, and some were not as dedicated to their studies as their parents would hope. One guy was fairly notorious for skipping class, and the principal was getting frustrated. One particular day after an absence the principal asked him where he had been.
“I was sick” said the student.
“Oh really?” asked our principal. “What was wrong with you?”
Quick as a flash the student responded, “I had leprosy.”
There was a pause.
“But it’s ok, I’m better now.”
The principal just looked at the student, speechless, as the student strolled off.
Finally the principal looked over at us, and just started laughing, as we all did. It was one of those moments. I assume the kid thought he’d basically told the teacher he had a cold or something.
I especially used to love freaking my male teachers out in high school with ‘Female problems, sir’. Mwahaha…
In my last 18 months at high school my mother was doing my Maths Teacher…I know I know….and one time I didn’t do my maths homework and when asked why in front of the class I said ‘Because mum was busy getting private tutoring’…